在祝福我生日快乐的同时，对方提起当年的事，才知道一些不曾察觉的细节。
‘...................Actually you knew my feelings for you all the while, right? I could feel that you have had likeness towards me, if not the same strong attraction like mine. Yet you had chosen to ignore it, or rather, you did not know what should be done either? I did not tell you and never ask you, I should have, when I come to think of it now.
Do you know that even taking no action towards someone when you knew his feelings is also a form of torture? I bet you don't. Perhaps you thought that you did not hurt anyone when you did not do anything; but it hurts, yes you hurt me a hell worse when you kept quiet n kept pretending you did not know. If I could turn back time, I would like to see you rejecting me, or give me a clear message that I have no hope even when I did not confess to you my feelings. I was too afraid to ask back then, afraid that the answer was not what I'd like to hear; afraid that I would put you into a difficult situation; afraid that we could not be friends anymore after that.
Don't get me wrong dear, I am no accusing you for being cruel (though it was cruel for me once hahaha), just want to empty some space in my heart........'
即将踏入教堂的他选择在这个时候说出来，应该是要把过去留在教堂外吧。那是很久以前的事了。其实心里是知道对方的心意的，但是因为他没有说出来，所以自己也不好意思去问。加上自己对他只是朋友间的喜欢，更觉得不应拆穿。当时的我以为若无其事、什么也不做是最好的，那样对谁也不会造成伤害。。。
原来，若无其事才是最大的折磨；因为当时自己不是当事人，所以不能明白对方喜欢我、在猜测我对他的心意的同时还要面对我一如既往的亲切相待而受的折磨。在回复中请求他原谅当年我的‘以为’带给他的伤害。
是的，如果心里起清楚自己对对方没有意思，那就应该明确的让对方明白；这样一定会带来尴尬与伤害，但是比起让对方长时期活在猜测里，直说能将伤害程度减至最低，这应该是能为喜欢自己的人做的最温柔的对待了。～啊！多希望喜欢的人也能有我现在的觉悟啊！喜欢？不喜欢？说吧！说吧！都说出来吧！～
不会看中文的朋友，对你的抱歉已写在回复里。对于刚刚才写了‘百般滋味在心头’的自己，这，该算得上是另一种滋味吧？
抱歉的滋味
飘在空气里
酸酸的、苦苦的
夹杂着咸咸的味道
p/s:我大概是疯了，还有成堆的工作要做竟然在这里写字。。。但是这是我抒发情绪的方法之一～把一切转换成文字能有抚慰心灵的效果。。。
天亮了，继续加油！好好的过好每一天。。。
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