结伴同行

请在路途中与我为伴, 不要热情, 也无需浪漫;
请在前方等我, 不要焦急, 也不要厌烦。
只待于与我同行。

Monday, September 28, 2009

touched~

Received a forwarded email today, was touched by some of the words, I've highlighted and now sharing with you:

A man from Norfolk , VA called a local radio station to share this on Sept 11th, 2003, TWO YEARS AFTER THE TRAGEDIES OF 9/11/2001.

His name was Robert Matthews. These are his words:
A few weeks before Sept. 11th, my wife and I found out we were going to have our first child. She planned a trip out to California to visit her sister. On our way to the airport, we prayed that God would grant my wife a safe trip and be with her. Shortly after I said 'amen,' we both heard a loud pop and the car shook violently. We had blown out a tire. I replaced the tire as quickly as I could, but we still missed her flight. both very upset, we drove home.
I received a call from my father who was retired NYFD. He asked what my wife's flight number was, but I explained that we missed the flight.
My father informed me that her flight was the one that crashed into the southern tower. I was too shocked to speak. My father also had more news for me; he was going to help. 'This is not something I can't just sit by for; I have to do something.'
I was concerned for his safety, of course, but more because he had never given his life to Christ. After a brief debate, I knew his mind was made up. Before he got off of the phone, he said, 'take good care of my grandchild. Those were the last words I ever heard my father say; he died while helping in the rescue effort.
My joy that my prayer of safety for my wife had been answered quickly became anger. I was angry at God, at my father, and at myself. I had gone for nearly two years blaming God for taking my father away. My son would never know his grandfather, my father had never accepted Christ, and I never got to say good-bye.
Then something happened. About two months ago, I was sitting at home with my wife and my son, when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my wife, but I could tell she wasn't expecting anyone. I opened the door to a couple with a small child.
The man looked at me and asked if my father's name was Jake Matthews. I told him it was. He quickly grabbed my hand and said, 'I never got the chance to meet your father, but it is an honor to meet his son.'
He explained to me that his wife had worked in the World Trade Center and had been caught inside after the attack. She was pregnant and had been caught under debris.. He then explained that my father had been the one to find his wife and free her. My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my father giving his life for people like this.. He then said, 'there is something else you need to know.'
His wife then told me that as my father worked to free her, she talked to him and led him to Christ. I began sobbing at the news.
Now I know that when I get to Heaven, my father will be standing beside Jesus to welcome me, and that this family would be able to thank him themselves .
When their baby boy was born, they named him Jacob Matthew, in honor of the man who gave his life so that a mother and baby could live.
This story should help us to realize this: God is always in control.
We may not see the reason behind things, and we may never know this side of heaven, but God is ALWAYS in control.
Please take time to share this amazing story. You may never know the impact it may have on someone.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures Forever. Psalm 136:1

Saturday, September 26, 2009

小小的幸福--暂定


“如果有一天,我发现自己不再爱你了,怎么办?”她突然认真地问。
他温柔地摸摸她的头,微笑说:“那么你一定要告诉我,
然后我们一起把爱找回来,好不好?”
“嗯”她用力的点点头,
幸福地笑了。

反省之一

我知道我会很黏人所以我一直装作不在乎
我知道你没有太多时间分给我所以我装作不在乎
我知道我的不安是多余的并会造成你的压力所以我装作不在乎
而原来,在后来的后来,我才懂我的假装让你认为我真的不在乎
可哀啊可哀!

定。变

你企图以外在的忙碌及转变 来填补内在的空虚与寂寞
你玩游戏你交友你不断做心理测验你学习才艺你运动你参加活动
你的状态处于“on the move”中--
但你快乐吗?
你真的享受其中的过程吗?
你真的“on the move”吗?
而其实
其实你一直都没有动,内在的你一直停在一个定点
而这个定点是阻碍你向前迈进的绊脚石
--写给一个也许不自觉自己仍被过去所羁绊的友人--

Drown in Life溺水? 溺生活~ 24-25/09/09

我所处的是醒着的星球抑或是梦的星球?我常会有如此的疑问。在醒着的星球不断地重复着相似的、恐怖的梦境,在梦的星球却过于清醒。

在我内有两个时钟、两套时间的转动方式:外在的、现实的时间;及内在的、记忆及反应的时间。而两者的时速常是两极,总是一边太快但另一边却过慢,而自己往往无助的看着自己疲惫地适应着两边、努力地调整步伐,小心翼翼地提醒自己不要搞错了。许因如此,其结果往往事倍功半。“刚刚好”,为什么简单的“刚刚好”竟如此难求?!

你有过临近溺水的经验吗?你努力向水面游去,手脚一直在拍打并企图以正确的姿势让自己浮上水面接触新鲜空气,但是水流很急、水压太强、阻力极大,你努力但是却怎么也无法离开冰冷阴暗的水底。你想张口求救,但一开口未出声已灌入满口水而这水让你咳嗽让你被哽让你差点往下沉得更快。是的,溺水的经验。

那么在生活中的溺水呢?那水流似的感觉在你睡去时缓缓流过你身旁,在你醒来时等在你前方,在你行走时与你同流过你生活中的每一刻。。。一如水般把你包围,只不过你无须真正的游泳。也许你仍然无法明白、或体会、或想象我描绘的、溺水的比方。没关系。只是想知道,有没有其他人也曾feeling drown in your life?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

听见一首歌~

下午在赴约途中听见一首歌,根据DJ的说法那是张韶涵的旧作,好象叫‘不想舍得’。基于我是个注意歌词胜于旋律的音乐白痴,所以只记住了副歌的部分歌词(不确定有没有记错),很有意思--尤其为一些害怕在感情里付出承诺的人。

‘彼此依赖是幸福不是负荷

能握着手就是感动的’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

会后挥别友人独自驾车回住处,塞在车阵中的我在想着刚听见的歌词(已经完全忘了旋律。。。)会不会是太喜欢以致害怕给予承诺?怕一旦把承诺说出口却无法兑现会将对方伤的更深?这些问题注定没有答案--更贴切的说法该是:这些问题的答案因人而异。我们无法知晓一个人过往在感情上有过怎样的经历或创伤,所以没有一套标准可对照。

哈~朋友们说我常会想太多,看来事实的确如此~

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

放弃了

“那種痛你說不出口,
你也流不出淚,
但是你的心為之顫抖。”
-- 摘自<<林怡君。原来,片山恭一是个严肃的文学老头啊!>>
在搜索片山恭一最新作品时读到一篇他的旧作<<行到船停处>>的側写,觉得以上所摘录的文字很有意思,贴切的刻划了人的情绪~

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'll Be There by Aiza Seguerra

I'll Be There by Aiza Seguerra
Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/aiza_seguerra/ill_be_there.html

When you wake up each morning
And you feel like calling
I'll be there for you

When the road seems uncertain
And you can't stop the hurtin'
I'll be there for you


When there's no one beside you
I'll be there to guide you
Catch you each time you fall
When the stars won't shine anymore
I'll be there…


When the world's unkind
And your dreams, they need more time
I'll be there for you



If the rules they keep breaking
And the future is fading
I'll be there... for you


The rainbow will end
In the palm of your hand
Don't ever let it go
When the stars won't shine anymore
I'll be there…


Who knows where we'll go
What will tomorrow bring
But we have each other, just hold on tight
We can take to the skies and fly…

I'll be there for you…
I'll be there for you…


The rainbow will end
In the palm of your hand
Don't ever let it go
When the stars won't shine anymore

I'll be there…
I'll be there
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been chatting with Racheal since I came back from church this morning and I don't bother to change and take bath first, which is so not me! Friends who know me would know that the first thing I'd do when I reach home will be bathing, to clean off the dust and get rid of the sticky feelings. It so happened that I have not been in touch with Racheal for so long, though we still see each other's upates from FB news feed, but it's different when you get to chat with the person. The posts, status quotes, photos on FB are still and static, they might reveal certain moments of your firends' life but they don't really tell you what actually happen in their lives. It is just like sms before FB and other online communication devices became common, sms can't really tell you the person'e emotion, whether s/he is happy, sad, sincere, or otherwise. All you can do is ti interpret based on the words used and your understanding towards that person, which might be wrong at times. As for chatting, because it's instant and direct, so it's better than sms or FB.
While I'm chatting with Racheal, i realised that i have owed so many good deeds from so many people round me. Especially after I've been posted to Miri, to those who have listened to/read my grumbles patiently; to those who have kept quiet when yelled at when my PC was down; to those who have wished me well when i was sick; and the list goes on. Reflecting upon myself, i have not been a good friend in this sense as i don't recall myself thanking them or doing unto them what they've done for me. What a shame on me!
So here i am, dedicating this beautiful song i came to know during my YCS era (which was longgg agooo) to all my friends who have helped me to get through different stages of my life, directly or indirectly, Thank You!

And do you know that when you pray, and help others to pray, you can actually pray for them to let go of things/parts of life which they have difficulties in discarding, and at the same time pray for yourselves so that you don't let go? well, i didn't reallise this and never thought of praying in such way. Her initial words were some-what like these: "Have faith. God will help him let go, and pray for yourself, don let go". Very often than not we focus too much on 'I' or 'Me' till we forgot that God has greater power than us, and that He is our Father hence we shall have no shame in asking Him for help on anything. We do pray, some even pray more than once, but do we know how to pray? What to pray? Thanks to Racheal!
So, friends, even i don't say this out loud, i'm praying for you constantly, for your good health and happiness, for your personal well-being and your work, in everything you do. And I'll be there when you need me, just let me know in case i over look. I will be there and I want to be there.

状态~

我曾经跟一个朋友在一起很多年,但已经分开很久了,并已经没有任何感觉。
我曾经暗恋一个人很久,但在继续升学后已经完全放下了,并且不会再回头。
现在,我现在没有跟谁在一起,也不想暗恋谁,就算有好感我也不会主动提起,因为让情绪被一个完全不知道自己感觉的人牵引着真的很累。
分开的朋友有联络、曾经暗恋的人又再联络,但有些感觉过去了也就过去了。我不是容易放下的人,然而一旦已经放下就是‘FINAL’,不会藕断丝连。为什么写这些呢?我的情绪,等到我已经能够说出来、写下来,那么就是真的已经不再在意了。如果我还无法过自己心理那关,那么一切都只会止于唇后,不会转换成声音或文字。
最近见了燕香和欣颖,谈了很多。说到喜欢、说到爱,她们俩都觉得我不够勇敢,这一点我完全承认。至于为什么会这么胆怯因已经在‘想~’里交代,这里就不说了。与她俩谈天说地之余,发现到自己在感情上有点洁癖--对自己有所要求,其中一项是对于前一段感情的处理。如果我没有把前一段感情处理好,那在心理上我觉得自己不应该再开始另一段新的感情,因为会对新的人不公平。虽然知道在感情里其实是没有公平可言,但是。。。所以是‘癖’。
另外,对于那些对我有好感的人,如果我觉得自己无法回报他们的付出,那么我会在他们表白后直接的讲清楚(做这种事情的时候倒是一点也不胆小。。。嘿嘿~)。我觉得如果不喜欢对方就应该说清楚,不要耽误了对方;最不能接受的是既不喜欢却又继续享受着对方在精神、物质上的付出,简直是无耻的利用。。。
有一个朋友问我:就快三十岁了,不怕吗?怕什么呢?反正二十九岁不死就一定会活到三十岁。而生活虽然粗糙,但我可还不舍得为了怕‘三十岁’就求早死啊~现在想到当我这么回答朋友时他脸上的表情还是觉得好笑,因为他是在提醒我该赶快把自己嫁出去!其实我又怎么会不明白他的意思呢?只是这些事是急不来的。曾经也很急的,大概在三、四年前吧,那时或多或少会特别注意身边的男生~那时是有那么一个很谈得来、相处很舒服自在的朋友,但我们重逢在错的时机,而这个‘错’的时机是完全无法改变的;因为牵涉到的不只是对方,所以我们也只能够是朋友。
如果我能够做到不去考虑自己的感觉,如果我能够接受为了结婚而结婚,如果我能够做到只注重‘感觉’以外的一切条件,我应该在二十五岁前就已经嫁给XW介绍的对象了--很可惜我不能,所以落到现在酱~每个人都觉得你年纪不小不该再挑,天晓得我其实一点也不挑:只要让我有安全感、相处时觉得自在,那就够了。很难吗?
我告诉欣颖,如果有一天你听说我要结婚了,而对象是你所熟悉的我所不可能会嫁的,那就表示我已经不再爱自己了,我已经放弃相信真爱了。。。而我希望这个假设永远不会成真。一个人的路虽然不易走,但决不会是悲惨的,所以不会为了结婚而结婚。
对于现在的状态,我保持着观望的心态--就像看妹妹每次玩的线上游戏般,看看接下来会有怎样的剧情发展~~~~

Friday, September 11, 2009

快乐吗?

昨天下午你来见我
说是在考虑了很久后才作出的决定
说你后悔当初的选择
说你想要放弃却又觉得对不起我
说看见我这么的用心就觉得自己辜负了我

亲爱的学生
不要为你的决定感到愧疚
尽管你要放弃的是我教导的科目
但是我完全明白你的压力
四科对一科
这四科的成绩对申请大学有的直接影响
而我所教的科目将来还有重考的机会
所以...
我都懂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
以上是昨天下午我即将离开学校前学生来找我谈的事--明白是一回事,说完全不受影响是骗人的。当你知道自己一直以来的努力即将被放弃,那种感觉好象体内的一切力量突然被掏空般,完全无法反应--但是我当时仍然需要以正面的态度去面对学生,并且要设法让她不会为自己的决定感到愧疚。唉,那真的有些考功夫,幸好我还控制得了自己的情绪。

我们谈了蛮久的--关于她的压力、她的问题、她的健康、其他学生对这件事的看法(原来他们都有谈过。。。)。在下楼时一直在想着这件事情:学生愿意来找我谈,这说明了她对我的信任,毕竟自己才刚到着间学校,正式教她也不过是一个多月前的事。况且,我叫的科目与其它四科相比之下真的可以暂时放下并集中精神应对另外四科;所以从学校开车回到住处时就已经把事情弄清楚:错不在我,不必自责。

What keeps me going on as a teacher?

The time is 5.30a.m. I woke up around 4.15a.m. and failed to fall asleep so decided I might as well get up and start my day earlier.

Yesterday was not a good day for me as I did not receive my slary due to someone else's irrespondsible working attitude, yet I am lucky as my Principal helped to settle the matter there and then when I told her what has happened to my salary and consulted her on action to be taken. Ok, one problem solved, though I still need to rush to the bank after my extra class with the Form 6 students to activate my Public Bank account as advised by my school clerk, according to her, commercial banks are faster in processing the transactions compared to BSN and it is better to receive my pay through Public than BSN.

Ok, just when I tought that 'uh, at least a bad day with good ending...' Then, well, yes, Then.

My student stayed back after the extra class and talked to me on the subject I am teaching and saying that it is very burdensome for them to spend time on this, and it seems like it is not worth the effort as there are another 4 subjects which require more focus and memorisation. At the same time, the student felt "guilty towards the teacher (which is me) teaching the subject as it is not the teacher's fault but my own problem, some other friends als have the same feelings, that they regreted having to register for taking it he second time. But it's not the teacher's problem, it's ours"

I was still figuring how to respond to this when a question was thrown to me "What keeps you going on as a teacher? Don't you feel bored having to teach the same subject year in year out? And having to face the students who don't really want to learn or who do not do well?"

Well, I'd skipped the part on my conversation with the student thereafter as it did not concern what I'm about to write.

If I were asked this question few years back when I was still a primary school teacher, even in early June where I have yet to teach secondary school, my answer would be 'the satisfaction that comes with my work, seeing the children learning more and more each day, seeing them progress and grow with them...'. Now, the satisfaction's still there but it's not that alone. It's the interaction with the students, and their trust in me. They are individuals with different backgrounds, and bringing with them all sorts of questions/problems. Through the limited hours allocated for the lessons, I came to know them, and they'd talk to me after the lessons, on doubts they have in life, their family, their studies, friends, relationships... I personally think that it is more than what's in the books that a teacher should pass on to the students, it's attitude towards life and values to hold on in the ever-changing and challeging life.

Of course I have my problems, lots of problems actually, but I'm able to face them with faith in God and support from loved ones, and these are the little things I want to share with those who came to see me. Yes as teachers the results of your students will tell others how good you are, but if my students are only able to score well in the exam but suck in life as a person, I'd see that as my failure rather success. I'd rather them to be able to success in life than just on paper, though paper matters a lot i today's world. I am not a good example, to begin with, so i choose to be a sharer rather a role model, and pointing to them the good ones so that they may follow them.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

爱我久久~写在090909

爱我久久
曲: 阿牛 词: 阿牛 编: unknown
担心你为我爱阮 而放弃了自已
心疼你思念阮 而在深夜里哭泣
希望我能在你身边 为你擦乾泪湿的眼
孤单是我给你的伤害 让我吻一吻你的脸
# 你是我最简单的快乐 也让我彻底的哭泣

我用什么来说爱你 只怕我让你更伤心 #
喜欢你在乎的表情 尤其是吃醋的样子
你会说爱我很久很久 那时最温柔的事
喜欢坐摩哆的时候 轻轻靠在你的背后
让风吹乱你的秀发 拂去我所有哀愁
repeat # # #
早上上学途中听着"爱"FM,主持人一直强调今天是090909,说这是一个非常特别的日子~
听着他们特地选播的‘爱我久久’,阿牛的歌词以伴侣相处时的小小动作带出了淡淡的、简单的感动。因为这份淡淡的感动,让我一整天都能保持平稳的心情--虽然今天的学生特别惹人生气、虽然今天早上的健康状态不十分好、虽然脑袋里还有一千零一件事情在烦着。。。~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
下午做了个心理测验,测试自己对爱情所持的态度,结果如下:
Love Test
This little quiz will reveal your attitude towards love.
Dear Sylvia Chai, below are your love test result:
1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. You chose the short road. You fall in love quickly and easily.
我有话要说:会选择比较短又沉闷的路是因为想要快点见到喜欢的人。况且如果是去见喜欢的人,再无趣的路也会让人充满喜悦与期待吧~因为对方就在路的尽头呀!
2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of white represents what you expect in return. You give 100% and expect 0% in return.
我有话要说:这个嘛。。。如果已经决定走在一起,应该都会百分之百投入吧?不然?难道贪好玩才在一起吗?
3. This question represents your attitude towards handling relationship problems. You like to get the person yourself. You are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately.
我有话要说:如果对对方没有感觉的话,我的确能够当机立断的拒绝;但如果对方是自己在乎的,那么变成‘乌龟’的可能性大一些。。。
4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like seeing your boy/girlfriend. You place the roses on the bed. You like to see him/her a lot.
我有话要说:告诉我,哪个恋爱中的人不会希望有更多的机会见面?所以我想如果我在恋爱的话,一定也会希望能常常见到对方吧~
5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality. You prefer the person to be asleep, you love the person the way s/he is.
我有话要说:除非不打算一起过一辈子,否则如果不能够接受一个人真实的样子,那么一整辈子都会很难过。两个人在一起也许需要作出适当的‘调整’,但决不是彻底的‘改变’;而且除非一个人自愿,否则就算是另一半也很难要改变他的。改了、变了,对方还会是最初的那个吸引你的‘他’吗?
6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone. You chose the longer road. You will tend to stay in love for a long time.
我有话要说:选择比较长的路倒不是为了路旁的风景,其实只不过单纯的想以最慢的速度离开喜欢的人。
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刚刚收到一则简讯,很有意思:
This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it, or use it for good, but what I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone, leaving in its place something that I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, not loss; good and not evil; success and not failure, in order that I shall not regret the price I have paid for it.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

老師的十二樣見面禮

摘自:简嫃。印刻出版社(2007年)
「這些東西可能是多餘的。但老師希望當你看到這些東西時,想起他們象徵的訊息。」


第一樣牙籤。挑出別人的長處。

第二件橡皮筋。保持彈性,每件事情都能完成。

第三件OK繃。恢復別人以及自己受傷的感情。

第四件鉛筆。寫下你每天的願望。

第五件橡皮擦。everyone makes mistakes and it is OK 。每個人都會犯錯,沒關係的。

第六件口香糖。堅持下去就能完成工作。而且當你嘗試時,你會得到樂趣。

第七件棉花球。提醒你這間教室充滿和善的言語與溫暖的感情。

第八件巧克力。當你沮喪時會讓你舒服些。

第九件面紙。to remind you to help dry someone’s tears,幫別人擦乾眼淚。

第十件金線。記得用友情把我們的心綁在一起。

十一,銅板。to remind you that you are valuable and special。提醒你,你是有價值而且特殊的。

十二,救生員(糖果代替,救生圈形),當你需要談一談時,你可以來找我。

Saturday, September 5, 2009

信念

‘爱情就像是帝国:它们建立在信念之上,信念一旦消失,帝国也随之灭亡。’~生命中不能承受之轻。米兰昆德拉。
前几夜,朋友难过的告诉我说他被爱情背叛了。他与我同龄,但是出生月份比较小,所以一直以来我都唤他为弟弟。听着他以断断续续又充满无奈的说着他如何从直觉到怀疑、从求证到对方否认第三者的存在、从不安到以实际行动进行调查、到最后的确认与有点难看又难堪的分手。。。我心里想着的却是为什么有人就是可以那么毫无顾虑的伤害别人,而被伤害的就是自己曾经深深爱着的人。是不是当爱情消失了,就什么都可以推翻--誓言、承诺。。。因为不爱了,所以不怕会伤害对方,是这样的吗?可以吗?
弟弟说,他最难过的不是分手的局面而是被欺骗的真相,如果女方在一开始就坦白的说穿,他虽然很爱她但是一定会选择放手。他不甘心的,是被蒙蔽的难堪。他这边厢在费心思索着该如何在下次见面时向她求婚,而她却早已经把他从未来的人生版图中删除。‘也许是我的问题吧,她没有办法感到我想与她一起共度一生的渴望,所以毫不迟疑的作出决定,一点机会都不留给我。’
不晓得该怎么安慰他,只有静静聆听。女方在被拆穿后当机立断提出分手也有好处,至少朋友在痛过以后就能死心,继续往前走。拖延,是对过去相爱的亵渎,只会增加痛苦或难堪。
今天早上趁开会时读了几页‘生命中不能承受之轻’(这本书读了好一段时间了,一次读几页的进度的确有点慢~),刚好提到‘爱情帝国’与‘信念’的比喻,觉得他说得对极了。哪个失恋的人不会感觉世界仿佛于刹那间崩塌倾倒了呢?
我没有资格说太多,但衷心希望伤心的人能走出阴霾,朝着有阳光的方向前进~

Friday, September 4, 2009

A pleasant turning...

I was having diarrhoea yesterday morning, been to the toilet so many times that I had to ask permission from the Principal to see a doctor. Luckily she granted, well, she had to i guess. I went to S.K.Wong because a friend said he is quite good. It was so difficult to get an empty parking lot near S.K.Wong's clinic, I had to turn a few rounds before finally got one. Then the@& thing happned--my stomach--so i rushed to the washroom in the clinic--forgetting that i had to have the parking coupon displayed... When I was done with the business and registration, and remembered  'parking coupon', congratulations I had been fined!!!
Was so tired and exhausted after the doctor examined me i had no extra energy to drive downtown to pay the fine so i drove home instead. Made myself a mug of hot milo, took with 'bamboo charcoal' biscuits bought from Bluebarry Cake Shop next to the clinic, then swallowed the medicine and went to sleep. I ws given two types of medication - 'Dhamotil' to stop diarrhoea, and 'Spamodyn' to stop the stomachache. All the while as i was driving, how i wished i could have someone driving me when i am not feeling well. It's not fun at all having to drive on your own when you are physically unfit to do so. But since i have no one so no choice-lo...
As I'm feeling better today, so i decided i'll clear the fine a.s.a.p. so i went to MCC right after my extra class with F.6 students. At the front counter, i was informed that i had to go to another counter which is behind the MCC building... Fine. The building behind is under renovation so it was quite messy, and dirty as well. I was so geram at myself for forgetting to display the parking coupon, just then i turned around while waiting for the lady at the counter to process my 'saman' and i saw three huge aquariums at the lobby. Inside are deep sea fish, different species. I was so surprised to see 'them' - though i have always known that MCC has these with them since my college time - and suddenly i felt calm and at peace.
It was funny though, feeling calm and at peace after seeing some fish - it's not like they have the power, or perhaps they do - i think it is because at that moment i came to realise that i have been focusing too much on 'me' lately that i have forgotten to have a closer look at  the world around me, to really see with heart and not merely 'looking without seeing'. Honestly i spent like 10 minutes standing in front of the aquariums just lookingn at the fish. Then i was giggling as i recalled a friend ever said that he doesn't like fish because 'they don't have any expression no matter how hard or how long you've looked at them'... ha ha.
i think this one resembles the main of the movie "Predator"
a yellow little fish was playing hide-n-seek with me so it's not in the pic

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

低调-LOW PROFILE

张栋梁 - 低调

嬉笑 打闹 拥抱 留下了那么多开心合照
互相取暖依靠 熬过了最低潮
一起生活 也一起埋怨过 走过最好与最糟
我在心里想的不用说明 你知道

晨昏日夜颠倒 这房子突然没从前热闹
散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫
感情很微妙 再多付出也好 再多关心多徒劳

爱情从来就没有固定的味道 它最后停在哪里谁知道

我的难过是如此低调 因为不想打扰我在寂寞的墙角
努力的对自己好 你用微笑回报 朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调 傻子才会哭闹
就算你发现也好 我想你一定会选择 假装不知道
只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

晨昏日夜颠倒 这房子突然没从前热闹
散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫
感情很微妙 再多付出也好 再多关心都徒劳

爱情从来就没有固定的味道 它最后停在哪里谁知道
我的难过是如此低调 因为不想打扰我在寂寞的墙角
努力的对自己好 你用微笑回报 朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调 傻子才会哭闹
就算你发现也好 我想你一定会选择 假装不知道
只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

我的难过是如此低调 因为不想打扰我在寂寞的墙角
努力的对自己好 你用微笑回报 朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调 傻子才会哭闹
就算你发现也好 我想你一定会选择 假装不知道

难到是我对我自己不够 好

--下午驾车到市区办事时听见电台推荐,整首歌听起来整体感觉不错,所以找了来看--MV拍得与歌词不搭,但是无损歌词强烈的张力。。。